Squash Blintzes

I am reforming my diet. Going on the un-diet, where everything is allowed, and especially good, healthy fats. Today I am starting with clarified butter and buttermilk to make a Squash Buttermilk Blintze. It started out as a pancake, and looked like a blintze when it came out.

I do not know exactly what a blintze is, but this sure looked like what I would think to be somewhere between a crepe and a pancake...and, it was yellow!! And delicious.

1 cup butternut squash, diced
1 cup spelt flour
1/8 t salt
1/4 t baking powder
1 T jaggery or palm sugar
2 eggs
1/2 cup buttermilk
1 T clarified butter

Steam the butternut squash for 15 minutes, or until soft. Mash.
Sift dry ingredients together into a mixing bowl. Create a hole in the center.
Add wet ingredients (besudes butter) and butternut squash together. Pour into center of dry ingredients. Wisk slowly until mixed. Add 2 t butter, wisk until just slightly mixed.

Heat clarified butter in a skillet or griddle over medium. Ladle a scoop of batter and cook for 2 minutes on each side.

Top with apple sauce, sour cream, maple syrup or caramel.

Superb!

Red Veteran's Day

It feels like there is a battle going on in my head and cooking in the kitchen allows me to see it for what it is. Knives cutting through squash, some pieces more square than other, seeds cut in half not meant for the dish anyways, somehow make their way into the dish, and other pieces meant to be smaller turn out to be large and stick out like a big man in a little chair. Regardless of imperfections, I am forgiving of the battle that takes place in the kitchen. And it's necessary to process this energy that gets stuck inside and otherwise would lead me to a place of most destruction. I'd much rather be cutting onions than cutting my own life force off by withholding my greatness and hanging out in the places that scare me inside of my mind. It's not pretty anyways, and no matter how much I do to try and fix myself, my mind will remain, psychotically attuned to what it thinks is right and how I am never good enough to be better than I think I should be. Anyways, it's a bit too complicated for a paragraph, which is why my book is coming out...in this century which may actually turn out to be this decade.

Today's battle revealed a rather yummy heart healthy dish (that was not a plug in for the American Heart Association to read my blog, by the way). Red, red, red. Since I've been single longer than I've been alive, um, let me rephrase that, for 27 of my 28.5 years on this planet, I think I deserve to take in a little heart energy.

Sweet and Red Lentil Quinoa Squash Smash

1/4 cup red quinoa
1/4 cup red lentils
1/2 cup hard winter squash
1/2 cup onion, diced
1 tiny piece kombu
1 T coconut oil

Rinse quinoa and lentils very well. Place in pot. Cover with water x2 and bring to boil. Skim off foam with a spoon, add squash and onion. Cover and cook for 30 minutes. Add 1/2 t sea salt for the last 3-5 minutes of cooking. Add coconut oil and serve, garnished with cilantro or parsley and a side of greens.

Sweet Carrot Risotto

Risotto isn't really as time consuming as most people assume that it is. There's no need to stand in front of the stove watching the rice cook - in between adding broth you can be making a salad, setting the table, cleaning the kitchen ... Before you know it you're risotto is done and dinner is on. Note: This dish is incredibly sweet and a perfect balance to an autumn fish dinner.

• 1 large peeled and trimmed carrot
• 1 large chopped onion
• 1 thinly sliced clove garlic
• 1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil or a nut oil such as walnut or peanut
• 2 cups instant (parboiled) brown rice
• 3 cups carrot-based vegetable broth

Finely shred carrot. It should look like mush. Let it sit while you prepare the rest of the risotto so that it comes to room temperature. By not cooking it you're adding to your live food intake.

Saute onion over medium heat in small amount of extra-virgin olive oil. Season with sea salt and black pepper while sauteeing. When onion becomes translucent (about 5 minutes) add garlic. Stir occasionally to keep onion from browning. It may get light brown, but shouldn't get crispy.
Set onion aside and add oil to pan along with rice. Stir until rice starts to brown then add 1/2 cup broth and 1/4 teaspoon sea salt.

Let simmer without covering pan. When rice is almost dry add another 1/2 cup broth. Continue doing this until you've used 2 cups of broth.

Taste the rice. It should be chewy but not crunchy. You can stop adding liquid at this point or add up to another cup of broth.

When liquid is absorbed remove from heat and stir in carrot puree and cooked onion. Taste and add more sea salt if needed.

Change and Protein

Well, I have been on about every diet out there. Some days raw, some days pizza, some vegan or macrobiotic, mostly what I think my body needs. Grains have been a staple of my diet for 6 years and dairy was a no-show. Recently, sugar, wheat, cheese and anything that had been ruled out was what I was seeking. If anything, availability is key, and unfortunately, if there was a famine of a particular food, a binge was inevitable.

So, I have decided to listen to what I need now. All the research, moral implications and feeling energy I have and have had around food, the number one principle of eating well is balance and delicious flavor. Protein is inevitable. Protein is key to growth, to creating energy and muscle tissue, encouraging healthy assimilation. Thanks to epicurious for the inspiration for this recipe , and the reminder by Elana of Elana's Pantry about protein and amino acids.

Salmon Grapefruit Salad

• 1 lb salmon fillet, cut in half (to fit in a steamer basket)
• 1 tsp ground cumin
• Juice from 2 limes (about 1/4 cup)
• 1 T olive oil
  
• 8 cups mixed baby greens
• 1 avocado, thinly sliced
• 1 pink grapefruit, pith and peel removed, segments separated
• 1/2 cup jicama

Grapefruit-Ginger Dressing

• 5 tbsp grapefruit juice
• 2 tbsp olive oil
• 1/4 cup white-wine vinegar or apple cider vinegar
  
• 1 tbsp chopped fresh ginger

Mix cumin, olive oil and lime juice and add to salmon. Set aside and marinade for 30 minutes (optional). Add to bamboo or stainless steel steamer and steam for 3-4 minutes on each side.
Set aside and let cool for 5 or 10 minutes.

Meanwhile, whisk ingredients together for dressing.
Add to lettuce, avocado, and jicama mix. Be sure to coat lettuce leaves very well with dressing.
Shred salmon and add to salad.

Enjoy!
Waller

Gluten, Again?

Well, I was doing pretty well. 3 days gluten free. I was sailing in a positive direction, yet still overeating at night. Thought I was doing better than I was actually. The days were ok, no itching or severe anxiety. Then, I got confused. Felt like I have a lot to be thankful for, but I have also mad ea lot of mistakes in my life. My roommates pancakes look pretty good. Maybe better than the guilt of going out in public with my dress more than 3 inches above my knees (and in high school, that was a no-wake zone). Oh yes, and also, the frightening sensation of waking up 9 mornings out of 10 having put on an inch in the middle of the night due to eating in my dreams. That's no good either.

Well, I thought I was doing well. No gluten, anyways. Then, I broke through a commitment I had to my well being. I thought another day in turmoil seemed more attractive than one day hanging out in the knowing that I am taking care of myself. And when I do so--good things show up. Sometimes potential cognition is not enough to break through habits. And other times, well, I make another choice because I am seeking a healthier outcome. THis time, I really knew that I do this, I get that. And I did it anyways.

Back on the wagon again. Hanging on by a few threads until I get the gluten out. It takes a few days to feel free again. Sometimes all we have is now and what we need is the belief that we can live free from an addiction to food. I have done it, and I know it is doable. It is a matter of choice, and a continued commitment to the process. I hope you are doing well in overcoming the struggle. I was reminder earlier of a wonderful insight: the struggle is the blessing.

English Muffin Woman

Woohoo!! It has taken me a while to make peace with my gluten intolerance. It has been nearly 2 years since I made the connection that gluten was a cause of my poor health symptoms, and since I did pretty well sticking with a pretty gluten free way of life. I was happy and healthy, for a long while there and amazed at how quickly my symptoms cleared up. Most notable was my depression, poor memory, feeling of confusion, lack of menstrual cycle and blood sugar imbalance were lifted from my life. All within a matter of days.

I forget what it was like to have struggled so, and almost as an alcoholic who loses sight of the 12 steps, I recently forgot that food can potentially cause a severe lack of nutrition. I moved in with a roommate and as happy as I am to be living with someone, I really hate her food. I wish it would hide so I was not exposed to it! You would think it would be fine, but for some reason, 100 cal wheat buns and mini shortbread cookies were calling to me. I went a week without them and then decided I would be fine to have some. And more and more. And the past few days I have been unable to get out of the house due to anxiety and confusion. Many would disagree the food is the cause, but due to my history of breaking away from gluten and experiencing so much goodness, I get a sense that that is what this is about.

Dear reader,
I am not here to tell you that if you struggle with your relationship with food or have a high level of anxiety, that gluten is the culprit. If you have ever struggled with depression, going gluten free may not be the answer for you. But it has been for me. I have experienced a great healing from cutting gluten out of my diet. I have also been able to tolerate it at times, but not completely. It does leave remnants of symptoms, yet I normally will cut it out before we get in too deeply together. PLease know that I am not here to diagnose or confuse you, dear reader. You have the option to eat what you please, but also to become educated about the impact your choices are having on your body and mind. My intent is to share from my experience and knowledge base in hopes that perhaps you may take a bit of inspiration, or a recipe to increase your health and happiness, and find freedom from a food addiction or a lack thereof. Either way, food is meant to be injoyed, with love and appreciation. The act of cooking food inspires creativity and therein attracts you to a higher level of living than would eating out all of the time. Please cook with love, and love yourself no matter if you love to cook, love to eat, or simply love to learn about food.

On the morning of deciding to get back on the gluten free bandwagon, yet keep up with the dairy (and not give it all up at once!)
an english muffin with cheddar cheese sounded delightful. Can you believe you can order Gluten Free English Muffins on Amazon? For cheap, too? Amazing.

Gluten Free, Please!!!

A couple of years ago I was going through a very intense health crisis. My weight had been well below normal for many years, I had no sign of a menstrual cycle in 6.5 years and I was about to go insane because I was so hungry all of the time and my body seemed to be eating itself. Not sure where the food was going...

I ran into an ex-boyfriend who, when we were together, we were both severely digestively distressed. Not sure who was more so, but I was fully bulimic at the time, so much so that I did not notice his issues, and he did not see mine. Together, we were a perfect pair. He had moved around a bit like I, until he was in Washington becoming a politician, but his tummy would not have it. He tested positive for celiac, made the decision to give up gluten and BAM! Weight came on and wellness followed. He was my personal hero for committing to a healthy lifestyle. His reason was to never have to struggle as he did when he ate gluten, but I would say super courageous for being a macho man and sticking with a gluten free diet--which can be known as a hippy or health nut thing to do.

My symptoms looked a lot like his. I decided to follow him in the gluten free initiative and was amazed at how many of my symptoms cleared up. The most notable was my blood sugar balancing, weight stabilizing, period came back within a matter of months and anxiety decreased drastically. I never found out for sure if I was celiac, but the blood tests showed obvious signs of gluten intolerance (IgG panel very low). I gave up gluten and felt clear and not hungry all of the time. I promise my depression went from a 9.5 to a 2.

Recently, I moved in with roommates. They eat as normal as a 16 year old. There is plenty of bread and crackers and dumplings and casseroles around the house. There is also no excuse for me indulging in their food, but I have been. It has not been fun or pretty. My symptoms have come back, in a rare form this time.

*itching like I am constantly being attacked by fire ants (it's not fun!!!)
*sleeping with food--eating @ night when i cannot sleep
*blood sugar out of whack is causing my SEVERE anxiety
*fogginess, takes me 12 times the effort to do homework and pay bills

I am getting back on the gluten free wagon. I will write more about my "de-sludging" symptoms. Mostly, about how grateful I am for having recognized what I need. Commitment is a word that needs clear definition in my life. I can force myself to do something for a while, then give up only to realize I was trying and not committed. This is going to take a serious deep commitment, almost as if I am married to my gluten free lifestyle.

Some things that helped me in the past were to:
*Make delicious gluten free food
*Read, read, read other people's stories and successes of gluten free living
*Connect with other Gluten Free people
*Comment on Gluten Free blogsites
*Find Gluten free recipe sites

Questions/comments/issues about this post? Make a comment! I'd love to hear our experience of being on or off gluten, or if this brings up something you may recognize in your own life.

Take good care.

Warmly,
Waller

Break Out of the Rut

I was reading an article this morning on breaking rules of conventional wisdom. Made up by us or someone else, rules basically prohibit us from accessing inner guidance. Rules are the smoke that cloud over the ability to maintain a flexible and open sense of well being. Rules can suck your energy, but they may also benefit a part of you that needs limits. At least for a while.

I notice myself sticking with a very specific morning routine, but not wanting to break out of it. This feels healthy. It is energizing for me, I naturally do it and I can't think of anything else I would rather be doing when I am doing it. This is an example of what originally started as an experiment and now has become a healthy habit.
(My routine: Wake up. Write 3 pages of gratitude, clearing out the junk in my head, and creating mental space for the day. Splash water on face 20x. Scrape tongue. Drink cup of water with my supplements. Feel good energy routine. Meditate--15-30 minutes. Tibetan Yoga Rites. Walk. Body Scrub. Shower. Breakfast...all before 8 am!)

Mindfulness of eating can start as a chore or a necessity and develop into a healthy habit. In a kids yoga class yesterday, I was asked how the kids could take yoga with them after class, as they prepared for lunch. We went over the element of chewing and how they could bring what they learned from the breath in yoga class and chew one bite at a time. How we eat impacts how we live. I have explored this in many ways, and recently have been more ungrounded than I prefer, and I notice myself eating mindlessly 60% of the time. Mostly at night, when I would rather be sleeping, I have gotten into the habit of eating really bad food that I think may help me calm down. It does, to the point of lethargy during the night and even the following day. This is an example of a habit that needs tweaking.

Do you have habits that are not serving you?
Do you have a goal and continue to fall back on old ways?
Do you notice a specific belief or set of beliefs that lead you to that old familiar place of fear and implosion?

The road to well being is filled with challenges. Here are some ways to take inventory of your habits and clarify your intentions, as well as some healthy rules of well being.

*Notice how you are living your life. (eg how you show up in relationships, what you think about yourself, how authentic you feel and act)
*Forgiveness is key to well being and change
*Ask for support. It is important to let go of our secrets, so if there is something that is bringing you down, tell on yourself! It might help lighten your load.
*Eat and live as if in full view of others
*Chew and walk one bit @ a time
*Is what you're doing bringing you happiness and enthusiasm? or is it bringing you down
*Move towards love, or the things that light up your life
*Do your best and forgive the rest

If you are struggling with your weight, or working towards discovering your work and purpose beyond where you currently are, I want you to know you are not alone. I am thrilled you found your way here and promise that in reaching out, you will discover you are connected to women everywhere who share in the struggle. The blessing is the ability to connect, forgive yourself and move forward, holding the hands of women who are with you on the path to well being.

Resistance

Resistance is necessary to life. If you are on your way someplace, there will be traffic. There will be things that take your attention off your path. There will be noise in your head that will try to take over the wheel. You will forget where you are going. You will want to fly off onto someone else's journey. You will see something better and feel the pain of not having it, or take the plunge in a whole new direction.

This is a part of life. A part of having a great life is learning to recognize and deal with resistance. I have had moments, periods, months and what looks like years of resistance. I have thoguht never, so I don't even try, could not should not will not. And then I have acted as if.

What are some ways to bust through resistance and break through to a whole new you?

Recipe for having a Breakthrough:
1. Take baby steps.
2. Courage: feel the fear and do it anyways.
3. Get support--people, places and things that remind you of what you want.
4. Make yourself accountable and follow through.
5. Dumb it down--get back to the basics!

Do you have a familiar story that is keeping you crouched down in a ditch, waiting for someone to save you or to recognize you need help? Needing help is healthy, wanting to do it all on your own is crazy-making. Somewhere in the middle there is a thin thread attempting to weave itself through you to make sure you are giving and receiving to that which cultivates wholeness and a healthy heart for you and those you touch. Holding back is resisting what you are meant to receive and taking it all in at once or taking over and not sitting in the pain is not moving through what could be the most liberating and necessary piece of your evolution.

Somewhere in the middle there is a breakthrough occurs, when we are ready, willing and able to make use of the gifts we were meant to recieve and climb out of a hole of broken-hearted, shame-based, malfiunctionality, ie: should-ville.

Welcome home, where your heart remembers who you are and what you want, and your mind is allowed to move out of the way to allow your potential to shine forth into the world!

Chi Bar Delight

Detox your liver this Spring by cutting out sugar from your diet. Do not worry about going without the sweetness--there are plenty of ways to add in sweetness to your food to inspire a bit of sweetness in your life! Chi bars are a sugar free bar that is going on the market in July of 2010, that is sweeter than pumpkin pie, and more satisfying than any energy bar on the market. Filled with superfoods and organic deliciousness, Chi bars are a powerful way to feed and nourish your body to optimal wellness!

Chi Bars: Energize your day with the most delicious and nutritious energy bar there is on the market today. Chi Bars are gluten free, naturally sweetened unbelievably satisfying, low on the glycemic index and nourishing to the gut and brain.

Ingredients: almond butter, brown rice crisps, agave nectar, cacao nibs, pumpkin seeds, goji berries, flax meal, vanilla, himalayan sea salt and pure chi! Super yum! Per bar: 185 calories, 9 grams fat, 4 grams protein

• 1 bar: $3.50
• 12 bars: $40

Check back for details on ordering and delivery July 1, 2010!

Make your own chi bars @ home!
Take your favorite dried fruit, mix with nuts and a bit of coconut, agave or maple syrup and roll around in cacao nibs of cocoa powder and Voila! Give yourself the gift of chi for breakfast, or an on-the-go pick-me-up that will uplift your mind and body.

A Corner of My Heart

I was reminded how short life is yesterday and how we all give a piece of ourselves to one another and hold an ounce of the other in our hearts. A dear friend, who held a corner in my heart, Will Owsley, took his life early yesterday morning. Will struggled like mad to embrace his talents and in recent years was more in the conversation of how bad life is and unable to see the gifts that are inside or around him. He was honest and exposed. I never knew him in his prime, though I felt safe being raw around his unique ability to reveal the darkside near the end of his life.

At the same time, my raw diet has fallen by the wayside. I thought perhaps that was a calling, to go raw in the past few weeks. It was fun, but today I needed comfort and all the nuts, seeds and raw fruits and veggies are not enough to fill the whole inside of me today.

I spent the night painting pictures to go on my walls, as well as considering that each angel in my life is not going to be here forever and I want to know how to love them up in the most authentic way. I find creating things taps a corner in my heart that invites me to express myself fully and energizes the emotional content into transformation. Normally, this is in writing or cooking, but I see a house full of empty walls that need filling, so I am painting my way to fill them up.

Lunch was an opportunity to embrace the sweetness of today: Blue Corn Bread and Sweet Onion Soup. Blue Corn Bread is definitely blue bread first, with a hint of corn. It is not like your traditional cornbread, more like a muffin loaf, sweet and dense and dark enough to look healthy, but sweet so like a bread with a side of really good friends for brunch.
The sweetness of the onions cooked for a long time in the soup was like a jam for the bread and together perfectly satisfying to soften my heart and help me feel fine looking out on the rain today.

Blue Corn Bread

Dry ingredients:

1 cup blue cornmeal
3/4 cup teff or sorghum flour
1/2 cup tapioca starch
1 teaspoon xanthan gum
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon fine sea salt
1 teaspoon mild chili powder (optional)
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 cup organic light brown sugar or agave (if using agave, reduce water by 1/4)

Wet Ingredients:

Two organic free-range eggs or Ener-G Egg Replacer for 2 eggs
1/2 cup light olive oil
1 cup water

Optional add-ins:

1/2 cup chopped roasted mild green chiles or raisins or walnuts

• Preheat your oven to 350 degrees F.
• Measure the dry ingredients and mix together in a bowl.
• Add the wet ingredients together, and beat well.
• Add the dry ingredients a bit at a time and mix until it is thick, but not dry.
• Add the optional add-in's: raisins, green chilies or walnuts
• Grease a bread pan and add dough to pan. Pat down to shape into a loaf.
• Bake for 20-25 minutes at 350. Insert a toothpick in center and if it emerges dry, the bread is ready to come out of the oven.

*This recipe is inspired by Gluten Free Goddess

Breakfast of Champions

In honor of Music City Marathon day...








I decided to retire my running shoes...










and create a Breakfast of Champions...
What would I eat if I were running a marathon?

Teff Almond Carrot Pancakes. Or Almond Teff Carrot or Almond Carrot Teff Pancakes. Whichever way you look at them, they are gluten free, vegan and sweet enough to satisfy the runner in us all to have the best day ever. You may not be running a marathon today, but in celebration of the day, may we all honor ourselves and never give up on our dreams!

Carrot Almond Teff Pancakes
Serves 3 or 1-2 marathon runners
1 cup teff flour
1 cup shredded carrots
2/3 cup blanched almond
2 t baking soda
1 t cinammon
1/2 t sea salt
2+ T Maple Syrup
1 T olive oil
1/4 cup raisins (optional)

Combine flour, salt, baking soda, cinnamon in a bowl. Add carrots, 1/2 cup crushed almonds, and 1 T maple syrup. Combine.
Heat pan with oil. Add batter and cook 3 minutes on each side.
Top with almonds, cinnamon and maple syrup.

Just in time for a marathon of a day!

Some Like it Green

Today I was set to go out for lunch. After a morning of writing, I was looking forward to getting out of the house. When it came time, I considered that I have no real reason to get out except for go visit a friend today, and I need to be working on finishing this book before the end of the month. I was convinced there was nothing in the house, but found some edamame in the freezer and decided to go for it.

Edamame, leftover brown rice, with Hemp-Spirulina dressing
I water sauteed the collard greens and shallots:

• Boil 1/2 inch of water in a pot.
• Add diced shallots and simmer for 2 minutes.
• Add slivered collard greens and simmer for 3 minutes.
• Add 1 pinch of sea salt and cook for 1 more minute.
• Remove with a slotted spoon.

Add edamame to water and simmer 3-5 minutes until defrosted.

Add edamame and veggies to a bowl of brown rice topped with dressing:

Hemp-Spirulina Vinagrette:
2 t hemp seed oil
1 t apple cider vinegar
1 garlic clove
1/4 t rosemary
1/4 t spirulina

Whisk and enjoy on veggies or as a sauce for a sandwich or salad.

This is a great liver detox meal in that it is green and includes sea veggies and essential fatty acids, phytonutrients and chlorophyll.

Avo Carrot Saucy Soup

Simply delicious avocado. How else can you satisfy your brain and your belly, your hair, skin and nails and enjoy such a succulent superfood at any age? (avos are great for babies and old people since they are soothing to the digestive system).
Avocado can be added to nearly any dish--from soup to sauces and dressings to desserts. Without further ado, here is a dish from lunch a few days ago that can be as saucy or soupy as you prefer. Laura and I enjoyed it as a dip with celery, in addition to collard wraps filled with extra salty almond pate--it would have been a nice colorful sauce to the wraps as well. Or a soup to begin with. She liked the coconut water, so I decided to add it in to make the soup a bit more saucy! Spring water works nice also. ( :

Avo Carrot Soup
1 avocado
1 carrot
1/4 cup blanched almonds (I removed the skins, but not necessary)
1 T ginger
1 T agave
pinch of cayenne

Blend. Add coconut water or spring water for a thinner consistency.
Enjoy as a starter soup, side sauce, succulent saucy section of your plate to enjoy with sorted veggies or just plain as a saucy soup!

More simply yum way to enjoy an avocado:
*mashed into a grain
*mashed onto a slice of bread
*cut in half and enjoyed with sea salt/lemon on a spoon
*sprinkled with nutritional yeast and enjoyed out on the beach in the sunshine as a protein, healthy fat filled pick-me-up
*however you like it, savoring the taste and chewing well (-:

Eat more avocados. Be at peace. Sleep well and breathe in new life every day in every way.
Trust the process and whenever life gets stressful, be sure to eat well so you can stay centered.

Edamame Guacamole

1 cup edamame
1/2 cup avocado
1/4 cup carrots
1-2 T umeboshi vinegar
1 T lemon juice
1/4 cup cilantro

Place all ingredients in a blender or cuisinart. Blend until creamy.

You may like to add a chipotle pepper and ground black pepper, if you like spice.

This dip can be enjoyed on a raw collard green or kale piece as a wrap, on carrots or celery or spread on crackers.